The Magic Relationship Ratio

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Gretchen, Shasta, & Audrey

I recorded this month’s One Simple Thing during a retreat this weekend at 1440 Multiversity I attended with my daughter, Gretchen (see video below or on Facebook). We were at Shasta Nelson‘s Frientimacy seminar where we focused on learning about the crisis of loneliness and how to develop closer friendships and help others develop them, too. I interviewed Shasta about her books and work about friendship for this episode of my podcast if you want to learn more about her work.

This month’s tip is to remember the “magic relationship ratio” of five positive interactions for every one negative interaction in our family relationships.

You can read all about The Magic Relationship Ratio (as it pertains to marriages) here. Says Gottman, “That “magic ratio” is 5 to 1. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions.”

This same ratio is true for our other relationships, including our relationships with our children. To keep our relationships with our kids strong and connected, we need to stay in tune with how many of our interactions with them are positive – and work to be much more intentional about creating more positive interactions with our kids, especially when they are going through challenging times. In fact, when they’re feeling at the low point is when they need us to be the most positive with them!

Want to hear another conversation between Gretchen and me? Subscribe to my podcast and listen to Episode 53 (coming September 7, 2018)!

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