Ep. 57: The Importance of Adult Friendships with Sara Kuljis

“The strong bond of friendship is not always a balanced equation;
friendship is not always about giving and taking in equal shares.
Instead, friendship is grounded in a feeling that you know
exactly who will be there for you when you need something, no matter what or when.”
Simon Sinek

Our adult friendships are really important. In two recent parenting talks I’ve given, I’ve talked about the importance of modeling for our kids what a thriving adult human does. Prioritizing our friendships is one important trait of a thriving human being.

It’s no wonder that many of our kids are in no hurry to grow up if they see adults as frazzled and unhappy! We need to show our kids that being an adult can actually be fun. One super important ingredient to a thriving adulthood is having close friends with whom we connect regularly. That’s what this episode is about. Sara and I talk about the importance of adult friendship and how we’re prioritizing time to connect with our friends. No one person – a spouse or children – can fulfill all of our relational needs. We also need at least one really good friend as well as social connections in our community.

Friends are the best solution to the loneliness epidemics that plagues many of us.

Topics we discuss

• Making friends as adults.

• Shasta Nelson’s Girlfriend Circles and Frientimacy.

Friendships are the most important thing kids get from camp.

• How do you find, keep, and nurture adult friendships?

• Importance of modeling solid friendships.

• Keeping friendships strong over time.

• Texting 3 Good Things.

• Importance of regular weekly connections with friends.

• Putting a regular connection time on your calendar (same place & time).

• Vulnerability

• Mutuality

Madeline Levine, Teach Your Children Well: “One of our jobs as adults is to teach our children that it’s fun to be an adult.”

• Friendship isn’t a tennis match. Some people are better about reaching out and connecting. Don’t expect it to always equal.


“What we really need is that deeper connection, and it doesn’t need to be with that many people.” Audrey

“It makes you fell less alone when you have that person or two who you know will be there for you.” Audrey

“Friend keeping skills are different ones. They are much more about being open and vulnerable, being forgiving, and listening more than we talk.” Sara

“If we demonstrate to our kids that our friendships are rich, we make time for fun, we forgive each other, then we demonstrate that being an adult is a pretty groovy thing.” Sara

Watch Sara and Audrey live (instead of just listening):


TED Talk: The Secret to Living Longer May be Your Social Life (Susan Pinker)

Ep. 40: Frientimacy with Shasta Nelson

Why Summer Camp May be the Secret to a Longer Life

Why Making Friends is one of the Most Important Things that Happens at Summer Camp

Like listening to Audrey and Sara?
Here are more episodes:

Ep. 28: Focusing on Our Kids’ Strengths

Ep. 23: Peaceful Mornings

Ep. 15: Traits of Parents Who are Great to Work With

Ep. 7: Family Pace & Space

Ep. 3: Raising Resilient, Independent Kids

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